Colossians 1: 21-23

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel.

Growing up in the church as an unbeliever, one of the most severe criticisms I had of the church and of Christianity was that I thought believing in this Jesus figure was for stupid and lazy people who let themselves be tricked into believing that life had a simple cure-all remedy in the form of "the cross" because they were too weak to face the realities of life. I was amazed to see how strongly they were able to believe in this Christian fantasy world, couldn't they see how blind they were? couldn't they just try thinking clearly for one second and see that they're living for a complete lie, an excuse? If they wanted to live an easy life why couldn't they do it through a more intelligible means?

Being a Christian and following the call of God is the hardest thing I've ever taken on and will ever take on in my life. With each day that goes by as a Christian, God has been revealing to me more of reality of this world cursed by sin but redeemed by Christ. I've never felt such unimaginable pain and unimaginable joy at the same time. Through the pain, God has been teaching me that He is the only hope now and forever more, and with this He urges me ever so strongly and persistently to hold fast to my faith. Hold fast to your faith, Konny! And it's not about sitting passively in the waiting room with my prescription slip to receive my Jesus-pill. No, it says "hold fast" to my faith, meaning that it's like being suspended thousands of miles above a patch of thorns by a rope draped over a cliff, I have to hold the rope ever-so tightly with both hands to the point of my veins bulging out or else I'll risk my life. But of course this whole time God is floating next to my head feeding me steroids or some powerful protein shake because there is no way I could keep on holding on with my own strength. However, God isn't feeding me super steroids the whole time, and there are times when He tests my endurance and wants me to trust that I can hold on with what He's already for provided for me. These analogies are fallible, but regardless, it's the mental pictures that help me understand what the fight of holding fast to my faith is like - it's no joke, it's the most un-lazy thing and un-stupid thing I'll ever do, it's the chief mission of my life. God, have mercy on me and all of us here, help us to hold fast to You.