Why would I?

Every time I complain, get frustrated, irascible, lose patience.
Every time expect things from others, slam my own standards onto my neighbors and judge them, operate in a mode of self-interest and self-centeredness.
Every time I fantasize about a situation or circumstances that I falsely consider "better" than the present, allow myself to be consumed by restlessness because I'm trying to rest my soul on such hopeless and fleeting things of this finite world.

Every time I do these things and so much more...I construct barricades against God's grace with which he desires to unceasingly renew my spirit. I cheapen grace in my life. I am telling God, "Salvation comes from me and not from you Lord." I am forfeiting the most amazing treasure in the universe, I am forfeiting amazing grace.

God, give me grace upon grace, for I remember my first glimpse of grace and the cost was too much for it not to be my one desire.
Why would I forfeit grace? There is not even remotely a good reason, there is absolutely none, but nevertheless I do every single day. My sinfulness and foolishness doesn't get clearer than this. I need God every hour!

To the roots of the mountains I sank down; the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you brought my life up from the pit, O Lord my God.
When my life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord, and my prayer rose to you, to your holy temple.
Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
Jonah 2: 6-8