Some cubiculer spring break musings

It's officially spring break, and to kick off the festivities, I've been sitting in my cubicle at work (without anything to do) for over five hours now. I'm not safe here, my cubicle stands as an island in front of a row of 4-5 attorneys' offices (with hatched doors) and adjacent to a psuedo-office/apartment/smells like a college dorm of several legal assistants who give me most of my assignments and usually do so by sneaking into my space from behind me. I'm constantly in a half-fearful, half-startled state here. Thought I'd tell you if by any chance you ever felt estranged by our g-not-so-chats. So anywho, I wish I could write about what I wish I could share. But this semester, in a good way, everything significant in my life that I would put into writing has to do with other people. And other people means I would write about them, and writing about them means possibly encroaching on their privacy. So...darn!

Well, tonight I'm catching a flight to Atlanta and I'm staying until Tuesday night. The air in Georgia is different, I can't wait to breathe it. This was the first semester since I've come to NYC when I really understood and experienced for myself what people mean when they say that "NYC is fast-paced, NYC will cause burn-out." I haven't exactly come to "burn-out," but I was afraid of coming close to it, I could start imagining for real what it would be like and my mind, body, and soul was just yearning for some rest away from the traffic lights, subways, honking, rhymthic walking on the sidewalk, 3 minute order and pick ups in restaurants, a million "hey how are you goodbyes"... But God is good to me. When I felt that the weight on my shoulders was at its peak, Remnant had a retreat planned for that weekend. It was to be my first time leading a small group, and just thinking about how I was behind on my school work and my responsibilities at home made me approach the time away as time to pile on the stress and burden and see how far I could just suck it up on my own. But again, God is good to me. Meeting new people and sharing our lives with one another in small group was like a bright ray of sunlight breaking through all the darkness in my mind and heart, and worshipping and meeting God for 4 days made me love life all over again. I was reminded that I am commanded to put my hope only in God because well, He is God and who or what can compare? But also because it is for my own good, because ultimately, I was made by nothing and by no one, or for nothing and for no one besides God.

I'm not made to live for my family.
I'm not made to live for my mom.
I'm not made to live for my brother.
I'm not made to live for my grandmother.
I'm not made to live for my grandparents in Korea.
I'm not made to live for my boyfriend.
I'm not made to live for pleasing and bringing comfort to all of the above.
I'm not made to live for my future career.
I'm not made to live for getting into the "right" graduate school.

God has been very, very busy at work in my life to take all of these things that I love the most of this world in purifying them to the original purpose that God intended for them to serve in my life -- purely for Jesus' good works!

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10