Monday, October 22, 2007

Significantly insignificant

Today is a beautiful day. The perfect combination of breeze and sunshine, I'm given both choices of wearing summer or fall clothes, it's not every day we have so much freedom. And as I was walking out of Schermerhorn to Broadway street, I thought while I was traversing the campus:
Every day that passes, I feel more and more significantly insignificant.
This powerful force of 'significance' that I feel comes from a paradoxical duality. Only paradoxical in my mind though, not in my heart. Oh man, in my heart the logic is crystal clear.

On the one hand, with each passing day as of January 2007, I have felt more and more like merely a wave tossed in the ocean, my life feels ever increasingly like a vapor in the wind. This feeling used to be scary (and still sometimes is), it used to haunt me (it still probably lies somewhere in my subconscious).

But on the other hand, with a step of faith, I know that God still hears me when I call on Him. I, this wave in the ocean; my life, this little speck in the scheme of the entire universe in the history of all time. Who am I to have the God of the Universe, the Creator of everything and anything, the One who gives and takes life - really, Who am I to God to have him love me so, think of me so, care for me so?

Who am I?
I am significantly insignificant.